Yuna watch!
by Al bhed Princess
Summary: Shelinda follows Yuna around for the day. See the people Yuna sees, eats, robs, hits and treads on. R&R!
1. Default Chapter

**A/N a little random fic about everyone's favourite Lara Croft rip-off...Yuna! Meet the people she eats, yes the people she eats, who says she can't be a cannibal?, see what she sees and step in what she stepped in! Oh my god what did she step in?! Ahem, see what she does when a camera follows her around everywhere!**

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Shelinda looks into the camera. "Are we filming? Good. Get a close up on me will you? Good." She puts on a false bright smile.

"Hello, and welcome to our brand new show...Yuna watch! You heard right! The only show that follows our very own high summoner! Sponsored by New Yevon's click-it pens! If it's not New Yevon's, you just might be a heretic! Ok, we join one of lady Yuna's closest friends, some even say he is her cousin. But why she'd want people to know this lunatic is her cousin I don't know. Anyway, Brother...is that really your name? Brother? That's the worst name ever. Talk about lack of imagination."

"Imagiwhation?"

"Imagi-...never mind. So, what's it like being around the lady Yuna all day?"

"Oh it's fantastic! I mean she's so nice, fun, sweet, sexy and photogenic!"

"Should you really say that about your cousin?"

"Oh we're more than cousins. We're lovers! She may deny it but it's true! We're in love!" Tidus is standing next to Brother, glaring at him.

"No, she loves me. Hi, my names Tidus! Yeah, you all know me! The son of the one and only Jecht. God I hate him. Not only am I the best blitzer the Besaid Aurochs have ever seen, but I'm also from Zanarkand. Yes, you heard me Zanarkand! So if any New Yevon scum are watching this...I'm gonna rip out you're vocal cords and feed them to your children!" Shelinda's eyes go wide.

"Ok, that's enough talking to Tidus." Tidus gets carried away screaming threats at New Yevon people.

"Now, if we can have one more interview with...leader of the machine faction Gippal! So Gippal, how does it feel to have the high summoner working for you?"

"Uh, it gives me an excuse to see Rikku up close. She goes everywhere with her cousin Yuna. And I pay Yuna less than everybody else. But she'll never know! Hahahaha!"

"Gippal you idiot! Now everyone will know!"

"Ah yes, miss Rikku isn't it?"

"She prefers Cid's girl."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!!"

"Yes you do!!"

"NO I DON'T!!!"

"YES YOU DO!!!"

"Uh, lets leave them." Shelinda walks away and stands in a doorway.

"Ok, here we are, outside the lady Yuna's hotel and...hey are you still filming me?!"

"Yep" the cameraman says, while getting a close up on Rikku and Gippal who are now making out.

"Ok, the lady Yuna should be coming out any second. Now remember, she doesn't know she's being filmed, so we have to stay back. Now, let's go to the commercial." A commercial comes up, with a picture of one of New Yevon's click-it pens.

"New Yevon click-it pens. Now available in grape or apple flavour!" Someone picks up the pen and licks it.

"Mmm, yummy! And remember, if you buy one from the youth league or the machine faction...we will not hesitate to kill you." Another commercial comes up with Baralai sitting in a chair.

"Hi there. You probably know me as praetor of New Yevon. Well, now I have a new job. I'm the cleaner at the machine faction! And I've never been happier!"

"Baralai! Clean this floor with your tongue now!"

"Yes oh mighty Gippal! Anything for you Mighty Gippal!"

"The machine faction. The happiest place in Spira. Join up now or Gippal will come to your house and shoot you personally. You have been warned. Hail oh mighty Gippal!"

Shelinda comes back up on screen looking scared. "What the hell?! Gippal's a lunatic! Dear god he's crazy!"

"How dare you say that! I'll kill you!" Gippal pulls out a gun and starts shooting at her. Shelinda runs away. Another commercial comes up.

"Hi. I'm meyvan of the youth league, Nooj. Or as some of you know me...tree man. Well, I'm no gardening expert, but when I need something to make me look especially treesy I go to the machine faction garden centre, where oh mighty Gippal personally cuts off a few of my limbs, then charges me for more mechanical arms and legs. Where would our lives be without Gippal? Well, we'd be so happy we'd get on each other's nerves! That's what makes all mighty Gippal so special. Join today and serve under him! If not, when he dominates the world, you will feel his wrath."

Shelinda gapes, speechless. Another commercial comes on.

"Hey there. My names Gippal. The mighty Gippal. Now, I've been planning on taking over Spira, but I need an army. Feel like joining? Good. Come sign up at your local machine faction. You don't want to join me? Then you will be killed. Remember, Gippal needs you! If you join now, you might just get a kiss from Cid's girl."

"My names Rikku! Rikku! Rikku! Rikku! Rikku! Rikku! Rikku! Rikku! Rikku!" Gippal just smiles at the camera.

Shelinda looks back at the camera. "Uh, a slightly disturbing speech from Gippal. Fear him! Now, as I was saying, the lady Yuna should be coming...oh! Here she is!" She walks away, and speaks in a whisper.

"Now, we must follow her wherever she goes!"

Yuna walks past and goes into a café. Shelinda walks in. she turns to the camera. "Ok, we're going to have to be in disguise so..." Shelinda puts a fake beard on.

"Perfect! She'll never recognise me!"

The camera turns to look at Yuna. Yuna looks around suspiciously. Then she puts on a fake beard a lot like Shelinda's. She pulls out her guns. "Ok! Gimme the money! Now!" Shelinda looks at Yuna. "What the hell?! Yuna, robbing a café?!"

"Yeah well, I heard moneys tight for her."

"Shut up Bob!" Yuna runs out of the café with a bag full of money, but stops and does thumbs up at the camera.

"Do ya think she saw us?"

"Nah. Come on!"

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"Well, I think we all learnt something new about lady Yuna today. After watching her rob a café, a bank, a swimming pool, Gippal, a tree-"

"-No, that was Nooj."

"Whatever. Anyway after seeing her rob the nursery, several babies, a bottle of hair shampoo and a clock, we get the idea that she likes robbing things."

"Yup, that's Yunie!"

"Oh god, what are you doing here?"

"You wanted to interview me."

"No Rikku, nobody wants to interview you. Please, just go away."

Rikku walks off. Shelinda, still wearing the beard walks up to lady Yuna. She turns to the camera. "Ok, because I'm in disguise she'll never recognise me, so I'll go talk to her. Hello, lady Yuna, how are you?"

"Oh I'm ok Shelinda."

"You know its me?!"

"Uh-huh. Now give me your money!"

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The camera goes up to Shelinda, looking very beat up, and without any money. "So, that didn't go quite right did it Shelinda?"

"Oh shut up Bob! You're fired!"

"Aw man!" A commercial comes up.

"Hi I'm Gippal! Recently I tried to take over Spira, but Yuna robbed me, so now I work for her!" Yuna comes on screen, holding a whip and looking evil.

"Yunie, I'm tired!"

"Shut up Rikku!" Yuna hits Rikku with her whip.

"Gippal, I hear you didn't pay me as much as everyone else. Is this true?"

"Well, yeah but-"

"-No buts!" She hits Gippal, who falls on the floor, unconscious.

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**_A/N Hehe! It's over! Anyway hope you enjoyed it. Review please! And I need to find sugar! CANDY!!!_**


	2. importante message

A/N, okies people, this is importante, go read my ::coughs:: friend's story (mine which she posted for me ::winks::) , it's Pepsi, it's back up, her name is dreamcherry 14, she's a member of the dreamcherry army! So what are you waiting for? Go read it!


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